After years of paying close attention to how people words things, I'm convinced that there is one single thing that kills your confidence faster than anything else.
Some coaches call it 'compare and despair' syndrome.
I call it ‘I'M NOT LIVING MY BEST LIFE BUT EVERYONE ELSE IS!!!’ syndrome.
It literally makes me LOL. I mean, let's be real, have you ever said any of these things to yourself?
"Wow, he's traveling everywhere...I'm so jealous..."
"What?!? How did she get that job??? I wish I had those connections..."
"Oh my god, he already has a new girlfriend? Wtf am I gonna be alone forever??"
To protect your ego, you might even compare yourself in a way that convinces you you're on top.
"She doesn't even have real friends, I'm way better off than her..."
"Man that dude is still screwing up his life, totally dodged a bullet there!"
"I'm definitely the best dancer here...BORED."
I mean, does any of that really feel good to think???
I'm guessing it doesn't.
Because regardless of if you're comparing yourself to people in a self-deprecating or self-assured way, you usually always have a 'compare and despair' hangover.
Here are 3 tips to make sure that doesn't happen anymore.
1. Recognize that everyone is on their own path.
Oprah once said, “You CAN have it all! You just can’t have it all at once.” And man is that true! I know from experience! You simply can’t travel the world non-stop, have a stable relationship, and build a thriving business all at the same time! Some things require ROOTING DOWN. Other things require BRANCHING OUT. My go-to mantra for this is “one thing at a time, one step at a time.” All that you desire in this lifetime will arrive when it’s meant to arrive. Just trust that whatever path you’re on now is the right one for you.
2. Don’t downplay people’s happiness.
It’s SO GREAT to see people having a blast on Insta but SO SAD to hear things like this: “I don’t buy it, there’s no way she’s that happy.” Woah, woah woah…maybe she is, maybe she isn’t, but if you really can’t believe someone can have that dreamy of a life, then it could be because you don’t believe YOU could ever be that happy or fulfilled. Remember, someone’s beauty, joy, or radiant lifestyle never takes away from your own. It only shows you what’s possible!
3. Stay in your lane.
If you keep switching into other people’s lanes and getting lost in analyzing what they do and how they do it, you’ll lose your most precious asset: self-awareness. Staying in your lane means you have more time and space to focus on YOU becoming the best version of yourself. Looking to others is a distraction, looking inwards affords you so many opportunities to live yo’ best life. Fo’ reals, not for Insta.
Want more tips on unstoppable confidence? Join us for this month’s masterclass, it’s gonna be littt.
Kimberly Lucht is the founder and CEO of Rehumanize Me. She loves helping young women uncover their most daring dreams and bring them to life!